Question:

How do I care for my latex? Storage, any ways that work better than others? What are some of the best mixes or solutions you find that shines the latex the best?

Because i love wearing latex as a second skin, i love the yummy-sensual way i feel in latex, i love being dressed in latex by a man and i love that smile He wears when He sees me in latex. For all you latex fetish fans:

i wash my latex by hand. i set it out on a counter that i have covered in lint free towels and i wash it with a mild soap using a sponge. Then i rinse it well and dry it with a lint free towel. i use Irish linen towels.

i have heard of people putting their latex in a pillow case and using the gentle cycle on a washing machine with gentle hand wash machine soap. There were accolades of it being the cleanest their rubber has ever been.

Storage, any ways that work better than others?

My corsets, leggings, thongs are bagged in heavy plastic and placed flat in a drawer. My dresses are hung on plastic hanger and covered with a heavy plastic covering.

My latex clothes are from simon-O, westward bound, demask, and syren. They aren’t cheap and most are gifts – making them irreplaceable to me. These clothes are custom made for me. i’ve talked with the makers of these latex outfits regarding care and wearing. This is what i was told accross the board:

Use powder on your body under the latex clothing. If you use a silicone lube, it will gunk up and the silicone (being a large molecule) will push/work itself into your latex clothes seams as you move and tear the seams apart eventually. This is very bad.

For shine over the clothes, a silicone lube. Use Wet platinum body glide at $17.50 for 8.9 oz.. This isn’t your inner membranes needing a high quality lube you can heat up. There is no reason to spend $45 for the 8.9 oz of Eros. The silicone lube is just going to get rubbed off on everything and everybody you touch and you will just want to apply more.

Use that Eros lube on your inner membranes where you will get your moneys worth from it. ;-D

Question:

What makes a person a submissive (identity) as opposed to someone who likes kinky sex?

I have had submissive fantasies since … well, since I was a “user violation.” I’ve played a little with boyfriends and sexual partners, but we ever named it or got heavily into actions that might be called ‘hard-core”.

In life, I’m a confident and capable person. So, it has always been odd to have bottom-y/submissive sexual feelings coexisting with my general attitude that I don’t take shit from anyone.

I’m confused about what label I should apply to myself.  If I get myself into the right frame of mind, I can top, and have some fun topping, but it isn’t something I get hot and bothered about.  When submitting, I have no desire to submit to anyone who doesn’t see me as an equal. I like the idea of choosing to “play” submit to someone whom I share respect with. I like intense play that involves submission for the duration of a preset amount of time.

Am I a switch? Am I submissive? Do I just like kinky sex?

answer:

A submissive surrenders control of her body and behavior (sometimes with preset limits) to another for erotic play and a Dom is the person given control in a consensual exchange of power.

What is missing from this sentence and from your dialogue for me, is any mention of derived pleasure from being on either side.  You don’t speak of deriving sexual pleasure from the giving of pain, humiliation and/or domination. Nor do you don’t speak of deriving pleasure from giving service to a Dom.

Without that *zing* that floats your boat on either side, in my opinion, it is kinky sex.  and there is nothing wrong with liking that. 😉 

Have fun.  Be safe. 

Question:

When it is appropriate to communicate my sexual needs?

I am new to the D/s experience and I don’t know when it is appropriate to communicate my sexual needs.  To be honest, I’ve just faked it most of the time in my vanilla relationships.  I don’t want to lie about this with partners anymore.  I don’t want to pretend anymore.

Penetration doesn’t do much for me – I enjoy it but it’s not ever going to get me to orgasm without any clitoral stimulation. Also, I prefer be allowed to orgasm before penetration so that I don’t have to think about it, or worry about the fact that he is going to want me to, and I won’t be able to … and then that leads to not being able to at all. When does one broach this with a new partner? It’s not something I feel is necessary to share with any potential Dom I start talking to – only the ones that I will get sexually intimate with are the ones that deserve to know this. How do I bring this up in conversation before any sexual contact is made?

How do I talk about this and not sound like trying to take control? “I only like this and this and I only can cum like this, and don’t bother doing that because it doesn’t work” …

I think it is worse to bring it up after first sexual contact has been made, because it might sound like a criticism of their performance.

I can’t figure out how to start this conversation after so many years of denying there is a problem to begin with.

XXXXXX

There are several issues to address to this question.

i can relate to this predicament. i didn’t cum until i was 26 years old and i didn’t realize i hadn’t cum before i actually did.  i always enjoyed sex.  and then i thought, “i can only do it when i do this and this and not this…”, so i have been there, done this…

Trust and open, honest communication is key to a D/s relationship.  It is a foundation to any good/healthy relationship.

When you are negotiating a scene with a Dom before you play, i would include the question “Are you going to ask or want me to cum?” because even if they aren’t going to penetrate you, a Dom/Domme might want you to cum for them,  unless you are negating a scene of bdsm technique experiences without any sensuality included. If the Dom/Domme says “yes” then i would answer “It is my experience that i need clitoral stimulation to cum.  i request to be able to do (fill in the blank here).”

The other aspect you need to consider is that a Dom/Domme may not accept your request.  “No sex” can be a hard limit but you can’t make or control a Dom/Domme into doing it your way.  That is anarchy and leads to chaos.  i recommend you relax and go with the flow, have fun, accept that after you have made your “i cum this way” statement, things will turn out however they do.

i’d also be open to the possibility that a Dom/Domme may have experience and knowledge to share with you how to make women cum that you haven’t experienced yet. 😉

Question…

What is a good “safe” word?

Answer…

The classic safe word is “RED”. It isn’t a word you might say in conversation or as a reaction to pain. Your safe word needs to be something you can remember in a stressful situation. Something short and simple is my advice.

My safe word is “scarlet”. i have never needed to use it. i only play with partners i know and trust. i play with partners who clearly know my limits and boundaries before we play. If i am concerned about something, i ask if we may talk, please.

Question…

Tomorrow I see my Master for the afternoon with the promise of punishment, torment and bondage….punishments less delightful than the torments….but a new element is that I am to greet Him by kneeling and kissing his feet. I am not worried about this in the context that I take joy in kissing and worshipping his bare feet…it’s just different to do it right off and with shoes/clothed etc.. That makes it slightly humiliating for me. How should i prepare myself for this? 

Answer…

Oh no, it is not humility. You should be ready, fully groomed. desire Him, wish with all your heart to please Him, upon seeing him drop to your knees and kiss His feet as if it was the last gift He might give you. Openingly demonstrate your love and gratefulness to be there, the chosen one to be there to please Him at that moment.