Name: Dona
Age: 45
Submissive/Slave: Submissive
Time frame: 24/7
Geographic area. Delaware
Q: What drew you to BDSM?
A: A need deep inside myself that never had a name before I discovered BDSM.
Before I found out it was ok to be who and what I am, I kept my deepest desires to myself… until I found out there are a LOT of others like me out there. When I found BDSM, lightbulbs went off inside me fast and furious and it was one revelation after another. It just seemed right. In the years since discovering that what I am had a name, I have grown quite comfortable with myself in ways I never thought possible before. I always knew I was different, and that difference held a certain amount of shame. That shame is gone now. BDSM helped me understand who I truly am.
Q: Do you feel you were born to serve and please a Master? If not, why do you serve and please a Master?
A: Yes. To my core.
Q: How did you know you needed the pain?
A: Feeling pain gives me pleasure and allows me to push myself to heights not possible in any other arena. It tests my endurance, and in the end, allows me to grow as a person. But basically, it’s the pleasure factor for me now. I just like it.
Q: Did knowing how to please Master come naturally to you or were you taught or was it something you figured out?
A: I’ve always been a people pleaser to some extent, with most everyone. But pleasing my man allows me to focus my efforts and gives me rewards I cannot receive from others. It has also allowed me to let go of the need to please others, hence eliminating the disappointment when they just don’t get it or care.
Q: Are there times when you are required to do an act and you have the thought “I can’t”? If so, what do you do?
A: I have physical limitations, and when this occurs in this area, I tell him I can’t. He would become very upset with me if I didn’t. If I was injured because I didn’t speak up… well… I would not want to be in my shoes when he found out. In other areas, I just bite it and do what he requires, whether I like it or not. Doing what he requires/wants is enough for me to push past my own needs, likes, dislikes or feelings in any given area.
Q: Are you a slave or submissive? If you are a slave, is it 24/7? Was it always this way? (Were you a submissive first for a length of time or did you just accept the choice of slave from the start)
A: I am a submissive. 24/7.
Q:What is the difference between a slave 24/7 and a submissive to you?
A: I’ve heard the debate over this subject for years, and have heard as many definitions of each as opinions. I could go on and on about this but would prefer, at this time, to not answer.
Q: Are you one of many slaves? Are you the head of the house slave? And how do you feel about situation? Are you poly also? Or does this just not concern or bother you?
A: I am his only girl, but poly would be an option I would consider under the right circumstances.
Q: Define a fuck toy slave and what is the difference between her and you.
A: A fuck toy slave (I’m not totally sure here, just guessing) would be someone who is totally into it for the sex. Me? I’m in it for the total package. I had my day of being a fuck toy, but when I grew older, I found I wanted more.
Q: Does your total passion for pleasing Master get you past any concerns about other women?
A: Yes. Beyond a doubt. But jealousy doesn’t enter into our relationship anyway. We are quite secure and happy, and I think that has a lot to do with it.
Q: Was your health record checked first? Do you have any concerns about health or do you just leave it to Master to worry about?
A: I am responsible for my health, but in all areas he is involved as I do have some health concerns. He cares for my health and well being in all areas.
Q: Favorite task?
A: Being his fuck toy.
Q: Hardest task/demand you did?
A: With my physical limitations, a lot that I do daily is hard. I have to take very good care of myself and have definite limitations. But I will push myself a lot farther than most might (possibly a positive result of being a sub/masochist?), because it is just me to do so. So, many things I do are hard.
Q: Do you work and have a life or are you 100% taken care of and told what to do all day?
A: I work full time and have a full schedule daily. My tasks are up to me, but I drop whatever it is I might be doing if he tells me to do something. I account to him frequently throughout each day, letting him know what I have accomplished, where I’m going, when I’ve arrived safely, and pretty much everything I do. Since we both work, a lot of our conversation is by phone, and each night we discuss our days and I fill him in on anything he missed during the day. I am not told what to do every moment, but it is expected of me to know what must be done and to do it. Neither of us has the time or energy in our full lives for him to micro-manage me. Of course, he often has added ‘assignments’ for me and they take precedent over most things on my own agenda.
Q: Describe an average day:
A: Up at 5:30 am, coffee and talking and agenda for the day is accomplished by 6:15 when I leave for work. I call him on both breaks and at lunch to check in. Off work by 3pm and either shopping or home to prepare supper. Cleaning, free time or whatever else I have to do is done before he gets home. Once he’s home, he gets my undivided attention. We eat together, talk a LOT, listen to music or whatever. Playtime/movie time/bedtime is around 8 pm. Asleep by 10 pm or before.
Q: Do you have interests and hobbies and/or a job or is your day spent pleasing Master?
A: I work full-time and I have more hobbies than I have time for. I’m a computer nut, a photographer (he is my favorite subject, next to nature), I have just acquired my OWN craft room fully outfitted for almost any project. I write, do graphics, work on our websites, garden (together) and quite a number of other things I can’t remember right now. I rarely have enough time in a day to accomplish everything I would like to accomplish, but as long as I accomplish SOMETHING other than routine chores I’m happy. I believe I would drive my man nuts if I was up in his face constantly, all day. He would never be happy that way.
Q:Did you get sent to school to learn how to do a manicure/massage or any other pleasure skills?
A: No. I’m self taught.
Q: Do you and/or are you allowed to go clubbing/nightlife, out on your own, girls night out, etc.?
A: Any time I wish. It’s rare, but I do go out with a girlfriend on occasion.
Q: Think of a scene you grew from experiencing. Describe that session, please?
A: I prefer to keep actual scenes private. Thanks.
Q: Is getting permanent body jewelry an idea you entertain? or is it something your Master wishes? is that something you would do if He told you to or do you both need to want it?
A: No. I’ve asked for a tattoo, and if I really wanted one, he might consider it, but his desire is for me not to, so I accept that.
Q: I have never had a tattoo or piercing because I have felt my body belongs to Master. None of my Masters have desired it or done it. Your thoughts?
A: Whatever works within a dynamic is fine.
Q: I’ve noticed that in posts and e-mails submissives capitalize “Master”. your thoughts?
A: I try not to think too much.
Q: And your favorite toy is (only one)?
A: My clover clamps! LOVE them!
Q: Favorite toy set up while masturbating?
A: Butt plug in, clover clamps on.
Q: What if your Master did not find you attractive or did not want you sexually. Would you be happy serving him as he wished, serving his sadistic needs only?
A: No.
Q: Once one just gives up the mental garbage and simply obeys, it all gets much easier. Your thoughts?
A: Although my day is not filled with his ‘orders’ from start to finish, I do know that once I am given one, there is clear purpose and fulfilling his need/desire is a clear cut path for me to follow. At that point, it IS very easy. This is not a state of mind I could accomplish within a casual relationship. To me, it is born out of our commitment to each other and comfort in each of our places within the relationship.
Q: Eating a diet is premium. (after all – what is coming out of one end is from what you put in the other.) what vitamins do you take?
A: I take a daily multi-vitamin.
Q: What are the qualities regarding yourself that you feel are the most important?
A: Honesty, humor and love.
Q: Is there anything you wish to add to this interview?
A: I do not call my man ‘Master’, but in every way possible, he is. He is the Master of my destiny like no other before him. As we dance our dance, my submission and his dominance meld together in a perfect rhythm. To me, this is perfection of D/s… for me… for us. I can only wish everyone else out there finds such compatibility. It takes work and commitment, but everything worth having does.
Ann: Thank you so much for your words. They touch me in a very deep way.
Dona: Thank you! I could have been a bit more candid, but I wanted to be brief. you can post aslandia@bondage.com with it if you like.) Gotta run, honey just pulled in! Hugs!