This is an interesting question. I don’t know why one would think one can promise to cum, like it is so predictable an outcome. I can promise to have a good time. I will most likely cum. I can tell you if I desire you but it is a bad question to ask. Somedays I don’t want to be with anyone, yet I have a job to do and given the openness of charm, desire, the person who you are inside being hot (as opposed to the body) I can change my mind about the situation.
I understand that you find it an amazing turn-on when a women cums. So do I. I find it an amazing turn-on when a man cums. It comes down to what is the point of being together with a partner? If it is just sex and you just want to cum, that you cum is important. If it is ego that wants the other person to cum, it is all about them. If you want random sex, you want to be with another, touch a partner, physically connect, you can have a great time and for whatever reason the other person doesn’t cum or you don’t cum, does that invalidate your good time or theirs? I don’t think so. And this approach gives your partner freedom to cum and takes away pressure to perform for you. Do I want a partner to have sex with me and perform? Sometimes. I think it’s cool to watch the show. Is that connecting with me? No. A cool show is a cool show though. Does their performance have anything to do with me? No. I could be anyone. After the show, the performer could let down the wall and open up and let me in. That’s hot. To be there and witness that makes me feel very special. My experience cannot be invalidated, even if what I experience is only true for one hour. To be with a partner and let yourself go with them, dive into being with their body, indulge yourself like it is the best piece of chocolate cake you have every eaten. Take it all in, as not just a slab of meat but as cake has texture, aroma, moistness, flavor, hidden surprises. That is meaningful. It isn’t a promise to cum, it is a promise to connect.
When I do porn, I would listen to the men talk. These men have a “happy place” they go to to cum on command. The camera stops until they are ready, they give a cue and then they perform. I have also been thrown off a man while doing a porn because he was about to cum from the experience and he needed to stop because they are only supposed to cum on command at the end.
I can promise to enjoy myself, enjoy you, let my desire run wild. I can promise to obey. I will most likely cum, as will you but it is not a promise. A promise is my word, and that I should not give lightly if I cannot 100% keep my word all the time.
~Ann
